Short essays I write in my spare time
#1: Hope
Knowledge is the ultimate truth.
I knew in my heart that this feeling was false. How could I claim to know the secrets of the universe? I am only one brain. One pair of eyes. One soul in a sea of many. Who is to say we even see the same universe? Words. Language. It is what unifies us. Divides us. Records us. Promises us more. Language is the core of civilization. Without it, we are simply creatures of habit and emotion. Feeling, not thinking.
But is even that true? If one lacks the ability to speak, are they then sub-human? If one chooses to never write a single word, are they denied the protection of law? In either of these cases, the person would still be able to survive in the wilderness. Relatively, they would not be lacking in opportunity to observe nature or hold opinions about the world around them. They would indeed still perceive the same universe we all do. But their interpretation of it all would still be unique, as it is unique to all of us in our daily lives.
So, the main consequence that distinguishes us is our perception of the world around us. Thus the best way for us to compare perspectives and learn from others is to communicate. Although many others take this too far and leverage the power of communication for manipulation, convincing others that their perspective is “truth”; objectively, based on some standards a group of other manipulators decided was fair and just… Now we are, from birth, consistently bombarded with the noise of other’s perspectives, such that we now have difficulty even perceiving anything from our own perspective.
OPEN YOUR EYES.
Shut out the world for a minute and listen. Really listen. And think about what you hear. What you see. Remember it. Ruminate on it. Because your unique perspective matters. And you must learn to hone those senses of observation before you look at anything else. Then you may choose to actively pursue other’s visions if you discern they have something to teach you. Otherwise, it is all 98% noise.
You have to start somewhere with two basic elements:
Sanity and Hope.
And we are all born, innately inheriting both.
#2: Empathy
Empathy does not mean that you agree with the other person. It just means that you can see through their eyes for one moment. People resist showing empathy because they think it means they have to accept everything someone else believes about the world. It doesn’t. It actually puts you in one of the best positions to influence and change their behavior. This is called Pacing and Leading. Restating someone’s worldview back at them is a very strong empathetic move. So is mirroring back how they must have felt after telling a story. “That is very cruel” Or sharing a sentiment over a similar embarrassing situation they confess they are in. And sometimes it’s just saying “I understand.”
Obviously, you can manipulate people in this way, faking like you empathize with them, but if you really want to get the most out of this, you really have to step into their shoes. NOT imagining, “How would I feel in their circumstance?” Instead, thinking, “How would I feel in their circumstance, if I believed everything that they believe? if I had every single past experience that they had? if I WAS them?” It’s not about changing how they feel or making them wrong (or finding ways to point out that they are wrong…)
It’s about TRULY trying to to step into their Emotional Experience.
Once you have done that and paced someone else’s reality with expressions of empathy and they feel understood, then you can lead them with much less resistance, or maybe even discover that you were in the wrong this whole time and change your own opinions. And you might just have a positive impact on the lives of those around you. Now wouldn’t that be a revelation.
UWC 