We use the term “space” to mean a lot of different things, as a society. Usually, it’s not up to interpretation: space is the void of nothingness that exists between planets and stars. Easy right?
Not so fast though, what if I am referring to a comfy space? Or a relaxing space? Or a secure one? An energetic, lively, rambunctious, vivid, dreamlike, or even surreal space. All these things can exist too, usually found here on Earth and filled with things that illicit such powerful emotions from us vibrant human beings. We as people love to define the places we visit or live in, retreating to or seeking out new spaces.
There is another kind of space though too, a space that’s commonly left to individual interpretation: The space between people in a relationship. These spaces might seem at first to be easily understood as just plain distance. If a lover asks for space, typically they want distance, right? Well… yes. I don’t want to give any false hope in that regard, you probably messed up a little there. But it’s at stages like that where some people get tripped up.
You see, as we have seen before, people love to curate and create spaces. Not voids, but vibes. Suffusing their surroundings with the perfect balance of feelings to make them comfortable. The reality is, life is messy. Life doesn’t always give us the tools or time to craft these spaces to our perfect liking. And so we inevitably hurt others in our pursuit of the perfect “space”, pushing them out and getting back to the comfort zone we’re used to.
Sometimes it takes two to make the right space. Sometimes more, but the point is, if we plan on sharing a space with anyone else, we have to be willing to be selfless, to compromise. Spaces built by individuals can be cozy, sure. They can also so easily become echo chambers of our own self-centered vanity and fear. But spaces built by multiple hands are secure. They are long-lasting. There is little to no room for selfish ego in these spaces. That’s because it takes effort, risk, sweat, and investment from everyone involved.
Sharing that responsibility can be terrifying. Realizing that you have to trust your safety, your vulnerability to someone else, feels risky. But you also gain the assurance that they are feeling the same thing. That this space will be stronger for your entwined trust and unity. That’s how businesses are built, marriages flourish, and friendships remain strong.
Take time this year to think on the spaces you create. Are they all made by you, for you? What can you do to reach out and build some cooperative spaces? What leaps can you make to dive into a fuller range of vivid experiences? I can’t wait to see what you all come up with.
Huzzah to @2024, by the way. 24 is my favorite number. 🎉
UWC 