Falling Again

Some days, it’s easy. To just close out the sound of rain, embrace the coldness of the screen.
Be swallowed up in my technology.
But other days, I just can’t ignore it. The rain begins to fall and it touches me in a mystical, powerful way. I don’t know why. Maybe God is trying to tell me something…

I want to leap into this feeling again. This joy of writing, seeing the world through a curtain of beautiful, cleansing rain.
I know the rain won’t last. The forecast predicted a quick downpour, followed by clear skies soon after.
So I know in my heart this is temporary. Even now it’s starting to let up.

It hurts to see it go; there is a longing in my soul for it to stay, to envelop my senses. It almost hurts me, such a strange feeling of loss when the rain drops come less and less frequent.
At least the overcast skies stay a little longer. But I know realize, the only reason I look forward to cloudy skies is because I long to see the rain again.
I’ve always been like this. At least as long as I can remember. There are three moments in past that I can recall vividly, due to the strength of the storm overhead. And I am renown for having a terrible memory.

And now the tears come. I… I can’t really explain it. But something about this is right. My heart and soul are alive and free, I feel like a bird that has been let out of it’s cage; like a bear just waking from hibernation.
This feeling of rightness – I just know this is what I was born to do. Writing, with music in the background, loft yellow light of a lamp, and the glow of silver lined clouds after a spring rain.
I need this. I am this. I am a Writer. An observer of the world at this moment, at every moment. It has been so long since I felt this peace and satisfaction in my spirit.

It’s like… Like when you eat a delicious, homecooked, meal and feel it fill your starving belly so completely that you want to nap.
Like when you are at a concert and the music hits just right and you can’t help but close your eyes, feeling the lyrics course through your gut & chest.
Like huddling next to a stone fire pit and feeling the low burning embers warm you to your core, the smell of wood smoke just strong enough to tickle your nostrils.

All that at once, that’s what I felt inside me when I sat down to write this. The first true return to writing that I’ve been able to do since college.

Thank you for staying with me. For not giving up on me. We know now, I can’t be away for long, so… I’ll be beck soon. Very soon.